laserguy: (watch me become co-dependent with jean)
Scott 'has zero self-respect' Summers ([personal profile] laserguy) wrote2023-04-19 07:51 pm
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expiation inbox

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orphne: (Kotone 153)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-03 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. Ok.

Can I come hang out with you tonight? I'll be really quiet and just work on sewing, you won't even know I'm there. :)
orphne: (Kotone 1)

text -> action;

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-03 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
[BUDDY THAT'S WEIRD?? And now she's even more concerned. But also Mikey just blocked her so you know what this is a literal foot in the door--]

Hmm, ok! I'll see you after dinner then. :D
<3


[Maybe he's sick and he just doesn't want to get her sick? But she doesn't know why he wouldn't just say so if that were true. Either way, she's just going to make some simple chicken soup, just in case, and let herself into his house with a cheerful call of,] It's me! [as if she isn't at all worried. It's not remotely true, of course, but she can fake it until she finds out what's going on.

And with a knock on his door, she adds without losing her smile,]
Have you eaten anything in a while?
orphne: (Kotone 29)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-03 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
[She does try the door, and this time her smile does fade, because it's weird that it's locked. No point faking a smile when he's doing something so obviously strange. She can't even quite muster a smile at the crack about sandwiches.

With her hand on the knob, she just thunks her forehead lightly against the closed door, confused and more than a little hurt that he's quite literally shutting her out.]


Why not?

[He doesn't sound like he has a cold or anything, and he's obviously well enough to come over to the door. Her lips press tightly shut, but she keeps her voice calm, trying to keep the confusion closer to the surface and hide the hurt.]
orphne: (Kotone 248)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-03 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Tell me what's wrong.

[It's a quiet command, just loud enough to be heard through the door. She doesn't jiggle the knob or try to push her way through -- she keeps her voice calm, as if somehow she could take her own strength and shove it through the door to keep him going and help break him out of -- whatever bout of self-pity this is. Vaguely, she wonders if he's locked his window -- in the same second, she considers picking the lock. But it feels important for Scott to be the one to decide to let her in, if he wants to. Like, breaking into his room feels like it would be breaking his trust, in a way. No matter how upset she is, she can't do something like that unless things get way worse.

But she wants to be in there. Whatever's afflicting him, locking himself away can't be the way to cope with it. Her fingers tighten lightly around the doorknob as she adds a quiet,]
Please. Let me help.
orphne: (Kotone 29)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-03 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[She doesn't repeat herself -- they both know she's still out here, and if he has something to say, he will. It sucks being shut out -- there's no way he actually wants her to leave, right? He'd tell her so if he did. His actions don't match his tone at all, and besides... if he just said why he wanted to be alone, she'd let him have it, probably.

But when he finally does speak, it's not much better. Dread pools in the bottom of her heart as her fingers unconsciously tighten around the handle once again, and she stands up a little straighter. It's nice of him to say that it's when "people" lost control -- she's one of those people. And-]


Locking yourself up definitely isn't going to help. [There's a fresh wave of urgency in her voice, in spite of her attempts to keep her voice steady and calm.] Scott, please open the door.
orphne: (Kotone 29)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-04 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
[She has to take in a quiet breath, because while he might not sound accusatory, that is a little how that reminder feels. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and swallows hard, not able to answer immediately. She'd almost killed him, back then. She hadn't even realized what was happening or what she was doing, but she'd almost killed him. That he hadn't hated or resented her after that was...

Gritting her teeth, she forces herself to take another breath in and shake her head, even if he can't see it.]


If you do, I'll stop you. [And there's an edge of steel beneath her voice, because if she has to -- she will. Whether that means running for Dazai's help, or taking him down herself... she'll do it.] By the time you can take your glasses off, I can change my Persona.

[It would be a scramble, and she's not as confident as she's forcing herself to sound, but even if she can-- mentally, she rotates through her Personas. Scott's said before that his optic blasts are more of a physical strike, not a fire attack -- it explains why it had hurt so much when he'd used them on Thanatos, but it hadn't killed her. Thanatos resists physical damage. But Sandalphon blocks it.

Maybe that could work. They'll have to test it. But she can't do that unless-]


If you lose control of your powers, you'll need someone with you to stop you. Let me be that person, Scott, please...
orphne: (Kotone 214)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-04 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[He really is scared, isn't he...? She doesn't have to see his face to know that. Distantly, somewhere beneath the urgency, she's scared, too. She remembers what the corruption had felt like -- her back itches, where the symbol had lurked on her skin without her knowledge until finally bleeding forward onto her chest when the corruption took hold. At least Scott knows. At least they can try to do something this time.

Her breath escapes in a quiet little exhale of relief when he cracks the door open, and as much as she wants to just shove her way inside, she knows this has to be important to him. It has to be his choice, not just her shoving his wants aside. Not for something like this. Her eyes go immediately to what she can see, taking in the sight of the black skin of his hand with a sinking feeling. And yet-]


I promise.

[There's no hesitation. This isn't like when Ryoji was begging her to kill him for hers and her friends' sakes. This is about Scott. If he hurts anyone, if he kills anyone, it'll destroy him.

She won't kill him, not if there's any other way. But she will stop him. She doesn't force the door open any wider, just lets her fingers press into the frame to stop him from closing it (or at least discourage him if he doesn't want to pinch her fingers).]
orphne: (Kotone 117)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-05 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
[The moment the door is open, she's crossing the threshold and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. There hadn't been anyone there for her when she'd finally realized she had the markings. It was too late to tell Dazai by the time she'd realized, and she wouldn't have wanted to bother Shinjiro with it back then, so...

She gets it. She knows why he wanted to hide away. But that doesn't mean she'll let him do it, and the fact that he opened the door on his own means he doesn't want to be alone, either. Right?

Shaking her head to dismiss the apology, she squeezes him more tightly, tightly enough that it might hurt.]
Thanks for letting me in. I know it's hard.

[He's warm, and solid, and... she loves him. She doesn't want to hurt him, any more than she'd wanted to hurt Ryoji. Her nostrils flare with a sudden bout of emotion that she tries to swallow down as she keeps him close. No. She'll find a way to stop him. Without killing him.]
orphne: (Kotone 248)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-05 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
[It's okay if he doesn't hug her back. She'll hug him enough for the both of them, gently rubbing his back with her thumb as she keeps that tight grip.

But she shakes her head, takes a breath as she forces herself to think back to when it had been her.]


I didn't know I had it, [she murmurs, her voice still quiet and calm. Again, her back itches, and she desperately wants to check to make sure she's not infected, but- later. Scott takes first priority.] Mine was on my back. It wasn't anywhere anyone could see until it was too late.

[She keeps rubbing small circles with her thumb against his back, wishing their roles were reversed. If she could take it away from him, she'd do it in a heartbeat. She can manage this kind of thing. It would be hard for him, but not as bad as losing control himself. Still, it's a useless wish, and she just presses her lips together rather than voice it.]

How do you feel? [she asks instead, because he said he hadn't felt like himself. He didn't sound like himself earlier either, but maybe that's just because he was scared of worrying her? It backfired spectacularly if so but-!]
orphne: (Kotone 52)

cw: depression talk

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-06 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Later.

[It's another gentle, but firm order. This isn't about her right now, and yeah, they'll have to check and see if she's infected later, but... it doesn't have to be right this second. It doesn't even have to be today. What's more important is making sure Scott is okay.

But oh. Yeah, it is hard to describe, but she suspects she knows exactly what that feeling is.]


Feeling like nothing matters? [she asks softly, resting her chin on his shoulder and feeling her heart squeeze a little painfully. It's a feeling she'd almost gotten used to, but after talking with Dazai a while back, something she knows now that not everybody feels -- at least, not all the time. And Scott feels everything so strongly, this kind of emotional numbness must be hard for him, huh...?]
orphne: (Kotone 117)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-06 07:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[The right answer is to lie to him. Tell him no, she doesn't! Dazai's told her about it, though. The answer that's going to make him feel better, or at least, the answer that won't make him worry, would be to lie to him. She knows this; it's so obvious.

But he won't want to hear that. They'd promised to tell each other the truth. She exhales quietly against his shoulder and tilts her face to meet his gaze. Though she can't see his eyes, he can see hers, and within, the unmasked weariness that she usually tries to hide.]


Sometimes. [One corner of her lips quirks up into a resigned little smile.] For a really long time, I thought everybody felt that way. It's not until I got older that I realized.
orphne: (Kotone 250)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-07 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Mmhm.

[It is hard. There's no point denying it when he can feel it like this. There's no way of knowing if it's exactly the same feeling that she still has sometimes, but it sounds close enough that she can sympathize, reaching up with one hand to gently smooth her thumb against that frown. She's not expecting him to return it, but she tilts her head and presses a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips as if in reassurance.]

I spend time with my friends, [she says simply, stroking her thumb along his cheek, tracing beneath his the lens of his glasses.] If everyone else is having fun, it's easier to feel like it, too. If someone else is sad, it's easier to feel sad with them. I go out and I keep busy so my mind doesn't get stuck just thinking about... other stuff.

[The last bit is a quiet admission. This stuff is hard to talk about, even for her -- maybe especially for her -- but it's important for him to hear, she thinks.]
orphne: (Kotone 266)

[personal profile] orphne 2024-01-07 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[At least he kisses her back. Honestly, she wasn't expecting it, even if it's not as full of emotion as it normally is from him. Like going through the motions -- but at least he's trying. That's a step forward, she thinks. Or if not forward, at least not backward, either.]

It can be, sometimes, [she admits, fingertips moving back to stroke gently through his hair with a quiet sigh. She leans up and presses her forehead into his, as if she could somehow give him her strength through that alone.] But... sometimes I can borrow everyone else's energy.

[But she just nods, a small motion more felt than seen, both hands looping around his shoulders and twining into his hair with a quiet sigh.] That's part of it. Or thinking about the people who didn't make it as far as I did, or even just thinking about how much stuff sucks sometimes. It'd be way easier to stay in bed.

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