[It's a simple answer for a simple feeling. No, being with him doesn't magically make everything better, but he makes her smile, makes her laugh, makes her genuinely want to see him every day. She wants to see what every new day holds with him.
Her fingers massage gently against the back of his neck, as if she could somehow transfer her own strength into him with just her touch, and she bumps her nose lightly against his.] You can have as much of my energy as you need.
[Her words draws Scott's gaze from the ground, instead fixating on that supporting smile on her face and truly seeing that she's not just saying that to make him feel better. Not that he doubts their connection, but it's still nice to hear. She really is strong, someone so special... and she's here for him. For a moment, he can feel the haze around his mind dissipate and he almost smiles at her, because even in a corrupted state, Scott's so easily affected by her affection and words. It doesn't quite get there, but she may still notice the way his body eases against hers.
But since he can take some of her energy... he lowers his head down so that he's gently pressed against her shoulder, with one of his arms coming back up to wrap around her waist. He's fine like this, although Scott, this may be the opposite of having energy--]
You really don't mind being around me when I'm like this...?
She shifts, just a little, to accommodate the change in position, but just keeps holding him. If this is what he needs right now, that's what he'll get. One hand stays in his hair, the other gently rubs his back in a gesture she really hopes he takes as soothing and not childish.]
Of course I don't mind. We'll get it taken care of, I promise.
[She tilts her head and lets it press against his with a quiet exhale. No, she doesn't know how yet, but... they'll think of something. Dazai will know what to do.]
Just... please don't shut me out again, okay? Not on purpose.
[Is that really a promise that she can keep...? Granted, things like this do get resolved eventually (at least so far), before something else happens and then they have to deal with that. But... can they really hope that nothing bad will happen, that he won't lose control and hurt the people he cares about? His thoughts turn south and the normal optimism in him doesn't step up, but he nonetheless nods his head against her. Even if he doesn't believe it fully, he'll at least believe in Kotone.
And... that counts for something. He trusts her at least. As she said, she'll stop him if need be.]
...I really scared you, huh?
[Maybe he would've teased her some other day, but now isn't the appropriate time.]
[Listen, one way or another, it's getting taken care of. No matter what she has to do. There's a bit of a shudder in her breath with that resolution, but she'll do it. For his sake, if nothing else.
She huffs a little humorless laugh through her nose and turns her head to lightly press her lips to his cheek.]
I was worried. You've never shut me out like that before.
[She knows she's done it to him, if not physically with a door, definitely emotionally more than once.]
[While Scott still doesn't exactly smile, his voice carries a tone that edges just a bit lighter compared to earlier, as if recalling something humorous. In a way, it is, his inability to really block Kotone from his life. Maybe kind of pathetic, but he really loves her. That feeling is still there, present in his heart. He has no doubts. Even if she shuts him out sometimes, he at least believes in that emotion above all else.
As if pulling some sort of resolve, he straightens himself up just slightly, maybe taking some of that energy she offered.]
[That patheticness is charming, though, in a way! And in this moment, even knowing how heavy his emotions must feel, that he can still manage to be a little lighter when talking about her -- it's equal parts endearing and stressful. She doesn't want to let him down, no matter what.
She smiles a bit when he straightens that little bit, shifting just enough to take his hands in her own and squeeze them both gently.]
Then will you come outside with me? Sometimes being sad outside doesn't feel as crushing as being sad inside.
[Scott's face immediately turns downward, his face scrunching at the thought of going outside. That just sounds tiring, if anything, especially since it's still pretty cold outside and he's not even really dressed for that. He could just throw on his heavier jacket and that'd probably be enough, but that's still more work.
But she's trying, for him, and Scott doesn't want to just push that away. Kotone has pushed past his attempts to shut her out and planted her feet squarely next to him despite everything, maybe because of everything. He wants to spend time with her now, at least before things get worse. Living each day to the fullest... right? Even now.]
...Can we just stand outside for a little while? [He asks quietly.] I don't know if I want to go walking around.
[Yeah, that's enough. It's not as much as she's hoping for, but it's something, a break from stagnation. The people who'd suffered from Apathy Syndrome seemed to just stop where they stood, so... if he can keep moving, maybe he'll be okay.
She cups his cheeks and gives him another kiss, once again as if she might somehow impart some of her own energy to him. If only it was that easy, right? But in short order, she takes his hand and tugs gently.]
C'mon. We can at least go be sad in the fresh air.
[No, he doesn't magically feel better still, but everything feels less dull and empty when she's around. Like he can muster getting up and moving around as long as he gets to see her. If this is how she feels sometimes... he really hopes that he does the same for her. Maybe he'll ask.
Not right now though, his hand curling into hers as he lets himself be tugged in her direction. He just wants to follow whatever she does, even if it's just remarking about the outside with a small laugh. Something so small, but he still looks forward to it.]
Okay, Kotone. Let's go outside and be sad.
[He almost smiles and there's something in his expression, almost like he wants to say more, but he just tightens his grip in hers instead. Scott wants to say how thankful, how much he really loves her, but he just hopes that she can understand him through their contact.]
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[It's a simple answer for a simple feeling. No, being with him doesn't magically make everything better, but he makes her smile, makes her laugh, makes her genuinely want to see him every day. She wants to see what every new day holds with him.
Her fingers massage gently against the back of his neck, as if she could somehow transfer her own strength into him with just her touch, and she bumps her nose lightly against his.] You can have as much of my energy as you need.
no subject
But since he can take some of her energy... he lowers his head down so that he's gently pressed against her shoulder, with one of his arms coming back up to wrap around her waist. He's fine like this, although Scott, this may be the opposite of having energy--]
You really don't mind being around me when I'm like this...?
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She shifts, just a little, to accommodate the change in position, but just keeps holding him. If this is what he needs right now, that's what he'll get. One hand stays in his hair, the other gently rubs his back in a gesture she really hopes he takes as soothing and not childish.]
Of course I don't mind. We'll get it taken care of, I promise.
[She tilts her head and lets it press against his with a quiet exhale. No, she doesn't know how yet, but... they'll think of something. Dazai will know what to do.]
Just... please don't shut me out again, okay? Not on purpose.
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And... that counts for something. He trusts her at least. As she said, she'll stop him if need be.]
...I really scared you, huh?
[Maybe he would've teased her some other day, but now isn't the appropriate time.]
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She huffs a little humorless laugh through her nose and turns her head to lightly press her lips to his cheek.]
I was worried. You've never shut me out like that before.
[She knows she's done it to him, if not physically with a door, definitely emotionally more than once.]
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[While Scott still doesn't exactly smile, his voice carries a tone that edges just a bit lighter compared to earlier, as if recalling something humorous. In a way, it is, his inability to really block Kotone from his life. Maybe kind of pathetic, but he really loves her. That feeling is still there, present in his heart. He has no doubts. Even if she shuts him out sometimes, he at least believes in that emotion above all else.
As if pulling some sort of resolve, he straightens himself up just slightly, maybe taking some of that energy she offered.]
...Still hard to.
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She smiles a bit when he straightens that little bit, shifting just enough to take his hands in her own and squeeze them both gently.]
Then will you come outside with me? Sometimes being sad outside doesn't feel as crushing as being sad inside.
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But she's trying, for him, and Scott doesn't want to just push that away. Kotone has pushed past his attempts to shut her out and planted her feet squarely next to him despite everything, maybe because of everything. He wants to spend time with her now, at least before things get worse. Living each day to the fullest... right? Even now.]
...Can we just stand outside for a little while? [He asks quietly.] I don't know if I want to go walking around.
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[Yeah, that's enough. It's not as much as she's hoping for, but it's something, a break from stagnation. The people who'd suffered from Apathy Syndrome seemed to just stop where they stood, so... if he can keep moving, maybe he'll be okay.
She cups his cheeks and gives him another kiss, once again as if she might somehow impart some of her own energy to him. If only it was that easy, right? But in short order, she takes his hand and tugs gently.]
C'mon. We can at least go be sad in the fresh air.
🎁
Not right now though, his hand curling into hers as he lets himself be tugged in her direction. He just wants to follow whatever she does, even if it's just remarking about the outside with a small laugh. Something so small, but he still looks forward to it.]
Okay, Kotone. Let's go outside and be sad.
[He almost smiles and there's something in his expression, almost like he wants to say more, but he just tightens his grip in hers instead. Scott wants to say how thankful, how much he really loves her, but he just hopes that she can understand him through their contact.]