[In a way, he figures that Scott might understand the feeling. Scott doesn't seem to be married, or have children, but he did mention working with students and having a bond with his fellow mutants... He's more relatable to him because, in truth, they may be a bit mortal or "human" in that regard. His status back home meant nothing to him; he was just more powerful than others.]
... I appreciate it, but it is the same old deal. I miss everyone back home, and will always miss them as long as I am here. As tired as I was back home, I could still see them. Even if it may have been a week or two, they were still within my grasps.
[As worn out as he was there, now that he's here, he longs for those days now. It's a painful memory now, but he squeezes his eyes closed to push down any sense of tears that try and escape from his eyes. Instead, he shifts just a bit closer to Scott, even if he might be too tired to move.
He does stop once he's close, and he slowly rests his forehead against Scott's shoulder. Body limping just enough to let him relax against the other man's body. A huge compliment and sense of trust that he hardly has with anyone here.]
... I suppose, the thing I'm having the most trouble with... Is that I feel conflicted.
[He pauses.]
I do wish to be home; nothing will ever replace that. However, I have forged bonds here that would make me miss being here. I don't know if I would have memories of this place but if I did, I would truly miss it. Even if I want to go home so desperately so -- that I would try through other means.
[A small noise of understanding leaves Scott at that. Yeah, he really does miss a lot of people back home-- his family, even with all the difficulties that still remain unresolved. But it is admittedly hard not to see the people that he's worked with every day, talked to every day, and replaced with something entirely different. The only hope is that he will see them again sometime.
He doesn't voice all those thoughts, but perhaps he doesn't need to. Alexander knows, he figures that's partially why the older man is able to talk to him about all this in the first place and be comfortable enough to seek his support. It's a small reminder that maybe he should do the same thing at some point, but opening up in that way for him is always harder; he's far more used to just being there for others when he can. Not only is that his role, but... he really prefers it.
Besides, this is still helping him too. A hand reaches up to rest on Alexander's shoulder, offering that support... and maybe some of his own feelings start leaking out in their own way.]
...Sometimes memories are all that we have of someone, but they're still important.
[He knows. He knows far too well. His heart feels heavy, knowing that he'd miss people regardless of where he was but home would always come first and foremost. He feels oddly guilty over that, but he's snapped out of his guilt ridden mind when he feels that hand on top of his shoulder. The physical touch enough to relax his weary mind for the time being, as he reaches out to touch that hand in turn.
Alexander doesn't realize how tightly he's squeezing Scott's hand. Right now, it's enough in the moment and he suddenly feels his body wanting to fall back into a long slumber from the comfort. Enough where he feels his eyes growing heavy; visible in his whole expression as he turns his head to look at him.]
... I know.
[And he finally laughs, a bit tiredly at that.]
I guess it's a bit funny... That I feel guilty for feeling the way to do. My loved ones back home will always be a priority, but that doesn't mean that I think lesser of anyone here.
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... I appreciate it, but it is the same old deal. I miss everyone back home, and will always miss them as long as I am here. As tired as I was back home, I could still see them. Even if it may have been a week or two, they were still within my grasps.
[As worn out as he was there, now that he's here, he longs for those days now. It's a painful memory now, but he squeezes his eyes closed to push down any sense of tears that try and escape from his eyes. Instead, he shifts just a bit closer to Scott, even if he might be too tired to move.
He does stop once he's close, and he slowly rests his forehead against Scott's shoulder. Body limping just enough to let him relax against the other man's body. A huge compliment and sense of trust that he hardly has with anyone here.]
... I suppose, the thing I'm having the most trouble with... Is that I feel conflicted.
[He pauses.]
I do wish to be home; nothing will ever replace that. However, I have forged bonds here that would make me miss being here. I don't know if I would have memories of this place but if I did, I would truly miss it. Even if I want to go home so desperately so -- that I would try through other means.
no subject
He doesn't voice all those thoughts, but perhaps he doesn't need to. Alexander knows, he figures that's partially why the older man is able to talk to him about all this in the first place and be comfortable enough to seek his support. It's a small reminder that maybe he should do the same thing at some point, but opening up in that way for him is always harder; he's far more used to just being there for others when he can. Not only is that his role, but... he really prefers it.
Besides, this is still helping him too. A hand reaches up to rest on Alexander's shoulder, offering that support... and maybe some of his own feelings start leaking out in their own way.]
...Sometimes memories are all that we have of someone, but they're still important.
no subject
Alexander doesn't realize how tightly he's squeezing Scott's hand. Right now, it's enough in the moment and he suddenly feels his body wanting to fall back into a long slumber from the comfort. Enough where he feels his eyes growing heavy; visible in his whole expression as he turns his head to look at him.]
... I know.
[And he finally laughs, a bit tiredly at that.]
I guess it's a bit funny... That I feel guilty for feeling the way to do. My loved ones back home will always be a priority, but that doesn't mean that I think lesser of anyone here.