[He's certainly surprised to receive a message like this seemingly out of the blue, especially at night. However, it's near instant in the way that Scott finds himself responding back-- voice clear but also worried as he speaks into the Leaf. After all, the strain and exhaustion, the trembling in Alexander's voice, is more than enough to tell him that something is definitely troubling his friend.
Various scenarios run through his mind about what might have happened to Alexander, if someone attacked him, if someone suddenly disappeared-- but it's not that. It's. Grief. A longing for people that aren't here and he understands that on a level he can't describe right now. Similarly, his heart beats in a way that almost hurts, but he keeps his level level. He's here for Alexander.]
Yes, come over. Don't be alone in all this.
[He's in a loose t-shirt and sleep shorts, but it's fine. Honestly, Scott isn't thinking too much about it, his focus only on the voice on the other end.]
[There's a rush of relief when he notices that Scott answers back so quickly. It doesn't hurt any less, but it's enough to make him crawl out of the closet. He's still crying, he knows that he is. His eyes are sore and his hands are wet from trying to wipe his eyes and cheeks. It's embarrassing, to be completely honest but Scott isn't far away. He's in the same court, so he only has to walk a few minutes.
This legs feel heavy though, but he does manage to obscure his face so that no one can recognize him in the hallway.
Luckily, even with swollen eyes he can navigate the dark hallways with just his sight, managing to get to Scott's room. Usually much more quiet about this, but Scott will immediately hear the doorknob forcibly move. Hands shaking as he practically lunges in and runs into the closet at lightning speed.
He hasn't closed the door at the very least, but Scott will notice that he's curled up like a child, head pressed against his knees, with his hands gripping his headwings in a vice grip. Small pinions falling underneath him.]
... Scared.
[His voice is so weak, different from his usual, calm and stoic one. The mask is gone, it crumbled as soon as he got here.
It's his true self.]
How... How am I suppose to do this? I-- I do not have them here. How can I pretend to be happy -- to act as if I can adapt? I can't--!
[Well, now he's pulling on his headwings.]
I... Am a fraud. What you have seen is a simple facade that I keep to maintain appearances but... In truth, I am the weakest out of my family. I know I am.
[Scott was about ready to fully open the door for Alexander, but he doesn't get the chance for it. His mouth lightly parts as he catches the other man barreling in without any sort of finesse, and instead of running to him, he's running straight to his own closet. It's... not quite a reaction he's really seen or dealt with before, the surprise making him still for a few seconds, but it's not long before he breathes out again, centers himself, before he walks over to the closet and lowers himself to a kneel in front of his friend.
He's... having a panic attack? Or something among those lines. Whatever sort of term, but what he knows is Alexander is scared and dealing with grief. The loss of his family not being here with him. It's not an easy thing for anyone, no matter how strong they appear. He doesn't fault him for being like this.
He slowly reaches with his hand, as if not wanting to spook him too much, to place against one of the tight grips that's pulling on his head wings. The pull that seems almost painful and he wants to guide his friend away from that. He doesn't want to let that continue either, especially if it's going to hurt him. And all the while, he finally speaks up.]
It's difficult to be strong without your family here. [He agrees, almost softly.] You don't have to pretend to be happy and you aren't weak for missing them. I can't promise that they can be here, but know that you aren't alone either.
[Alexander is usually hyperaware, but in this state, his sharp mind is practically gone. It's filled with grief that he can't control, and all he can really hear and feel is the beating of his own heart. It feels like it's about to burst, but that sudden touch to his hands brings him back to reality. It's weirdly comforting in a way, but it seems to ground him enough that he stops his forceful tugging.
His hands are shaking, but feeling another touch makes him let go and instead, he reaches for Scott's hands.
They're warm and comforting, which is enough to make him lean in for that comfort. Slowly, but surely trying to catch his breath, even if it feels like his throat is closing. Still, he grounds himself -- at least, long enough to hear those comforting words. It's nostalgic, having heard those same words from his family. But hearing it said so confidently from someone that isn't family is also comforting.]
... You're right. I am sure there are others who are struggling as well and are grieving. It's just... Hard.
[Still, despite his calmness, there are visible tears from his eyes. But his mask is gone, and the person he truly is comes through.
However, it seems as if Scott's words have come through. It's... Enough to make him laugh, smile even, despite his grief.]
If what you say is true, then I suppose... You're stuck with me. Or maybe I'm stuck with you?
[The grip on Scott's hands tighten, not letting go any time soon.
Sorry Scott.]
I apologize. I... Really didn't mean to barge in like I did, but I have a particular fondness with hiding in closets, you see.
[It's a genuine comfort to feel Alexander reach for his own hands instead and immediately he encloses them in a comforting grip as he continues to look at the other with that steady gaze through his sunglasses. Maybe intimidating to some, but probably not to the celestial and more importantly a friend, with subtle traces of concern lining the mutant's face as he holds onto his hands.]
I'm certain there are others struggling in a similar way, but it can still be hard. Don't be ashamed.
[Might be ironic of him saying all these things when he has a hard time reaching out, but this isn't about him. This is about Alexander and Scott's always had an easier time telling others that it's okay to feel certain things when he doesn't practice what he preaches. Well, he used to have someone to tell all his doubts and feelings, but... that's not here and now.
Instead, he squeezes his hands, keeping them warm in his hold.]
Yeah, guess we are stuck together. For as long as you need it. [He sounds so serious saying all this... but he really means it.] So it's fine, even if you want to hide in this closet for the moment. Could you tell me why you want that particular space though?
[Don't be ashamed... Those words are familiar but it's hard to keep it to heart. The pressure of maintaining appearance is so prevalent in his day to day life, but his life is much different here and he has to remember that. He knows that he can't keep it up for very long without getting burnt out, but he's starting to learn that he can keep his guard down with select people. Scott is definitely one of them.]
You're right... But I guess it's still embarrassing. Admittedly I... Keep a formal speech to intimidate those around me. But I'm a normal person outside of that. I still feel anxious and stressed out, as you might feel as well.
[His hands are starting to get warm again, and they feel less clammy. Surprisingly, he still keeps a firm grip on Scott's hands, taking a deep breath out.]
For as long as I need? You may be in for a hard journey.
[Still, he can tell that Scott means it. It makes him less anxious, and his body slowly moves back to baseline.]
Mm, well...
[How does he put this... He knows that there's nothing wrong with mental illness, but he still has trouble talking about it.]
If I must admit, I do suffer from severe anxiety. It is comforting to be in a closet because it's a tight space and I don't have to feel anxious about open spaces... I suppose that may sound odd, but my sister could always find me in the closet if I hid from everyone.
[He's quiet for a moment, managing to crack a faint smile.]
Don't you have places where you hide if you feel stressed out and anxious?
[A small nod, clear understanding running through him as he mentions being stressed and anxious. They may have different roles, different types of stressors, but he gets it-- the need to appear strong at all times. Someone that remains steady despite everything going on around them. He likes to think that he's pulled that off even after Jean's 'death,' but that pit of anger and hurt and despair sometimes grips him, probably in a similar way in how it's gripping Alexander.
So, he continues to hold onto his hands. Watches him with that steady gaze behind his sunglasses, firm but supportive still.]
For as long as you need.
[He repeats, without hesitation. It actually feels kind of good to feel steady in his emotions like this, instead of feeling out of place or thinking about his own troubles. This is something he can do. Not that he's happy that Alexander is experiencing this sort of anxiety attack, but he's glad to be here for him.]
Then we can stay in this closet. [He says, simply, the mutant starting to settle on the ground so that he can get comfortable.] And if I'm feeling that way... I just find a place that I can be alone. Maybe pull of my sunglasses for a moment or two.
[Release all that rage with the output of his powers.]
[This place is breaking him down in ways that he didn't think were possible. Though, it would have happened eventually -- sooner or later. He's thankful that it happened once he was able to call Scott a friend. He can't imagine who'd he turn to with such sensitive matters like this, but it grounds him enough to finally let go and give the man some space at least.
Though, now that they're a bit more settled on the ground, he hopes that Scott's legs or knees aren't hurting.]
... I apologize though. I have to admit -- if I didn't have you as a friend... Things would have been much different. I'm not certain how life and death works here, but... It would have been the latter. And I would have been glad.
[He's thankful that Scott even answered his leaf before he went down that route. And although he isn't sure how he could repay his friend in turn, he'll think about it later. When his fight or flight system isn't haywire.]
Oh? Taking out your feelings on an unsuspecting rock or a bush?
[Why does that thought... Actually make him laugh.]
... For what it's worth, since you have been nothing but kind to me, you can reach out to me as well. I lack empathy, but... I am rather compassionate toward my friends.
[There's no discomfort stemming from the mutant leader, his now released hands lying on his knees and still within reach if Alexander needs to take them again.]
It's a good thing that we are friends then.
[Though the implications of his comment... a frown pulls at the corner his mouth, slightly disapproving but mostly worried. Do those sort of thoughts linger in his mind often? It's something that he really can't let go, not after losing two important people back home. Sure, him and Alexander have really just met, but it still matters to him.]
So don't forget that.
[But as that answer fills the conversation for a few seconds... he relents just a little as Alexander lightly teases him about releasing his feelings. It's not entirely wrong.] And think just a little bigger, sometimes a tree. Sometimes I just look into the sky. But... thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
[Though it's clear that Scott is still just highly focused on him.] Does your sister do anything else for you while like this?
[Luckily (?), Alexander seems to have his brain wrapped together again. He knows that divulging in that information isn't great, and it might make Scott worried. The last thing he wants is for someone to worry about him, since he doesn't want to inconvenience him.]
... Thank you. I won't.
[It's enough for now, and knowing that someone is here for him is enough to keep him steady and less on edge. For what it's worth, he's mostly calm for the most part. His breathing is back to normal, and he chuckles softly.]
I heard looking at the sky can be dangerous... Especially when you're looking at the sky and the stars here.
[Now that his brain is mostly back into place, he feels pretty embarrassed now. He wants to bury his head into his knees, but Scott is being so kind to him still that he can't really try and push him to another topic.]
... Well. She lets me sleep next to her but I know that can be a bit awkward. ... I'll be happy to just sleep on the floor, or in the closet. The bed is not big enough to fit two of us, and I would rather not inconvenience you when you have already been so kind. ... Perhaps too kind, but I wouldn't expect anything less from a charismatic leader.
[He pauses.]
... That being said, if you have any troubles that you would like to share -- anything at all... Please come and find me. I will come to you as quickly as you have come to me.
[Okay, maybe it's a little awkward to lend his bed with another person.
There's no denying that particular emotion or thought, with Scott actually taking a little more time to think about it, but eventually he just shakes his head. There are times when he can still be an asshole, someone inflexible and unable to back down from anything, but this is not one of those instances. He just learned about Alexander's own struggles and those more harmful tendencies, and that triumphs any awkward thoughts about sharing his bed for a night or two.]
If that's what will help quell those more negative feelings, I don't mind. [Those ruby sunglasses still solid and hiding his eyes, maybe intimidating to some, but there's something understanding underneath all that. He can't really hide that part of himself, no matter how controlled he tries to be. Besides, he's been through many of Jean's nightmares... granted she was his girlfriend, but this wouldn't be the first time he's sat through a stressful situation with someone.]
Although if you still prefer to sleep on the ground, that's fine too. ...And I'll keep that in mind, but we're focusing on you.
[If it makes Scott feel better, he really isn't expecting anything of that sort. Truly, he'd be happy to sleep anywhere in the room -- just as long as there was another person he trusted in that vicinity. So, color him surprised when Scott gives his actual consent to sleep in the same bed as him, even if it took a few moments to do so.]
Hm... As tempting as that offer is, let me ponder on it for a bit. Even though it is simple platonic intimacy, I truly do understand how uncomfortable and awkward it may be. You also need to sleep soundly too, after I interrupted it. It's terribly late into the night, so we should start heading into slumber.
[Luckily, Alexander doesn't seem to be intimidated by it. In fact, he brings both hands to Scott's clothes and quietly leans forward. His head pressed against his shoulder as an act of gratitude but also an act of comfort and vulnerability. He can only imagine how many people come to Scott for this kind of thing. If there were many, he wouldn't be surprise.]
You are far too kind.
[He pauses, letting a chuckle pass.]
But... How often are you helping people through crises like this? You could offer your services to the clinic. I'm sure other people would appreciate your comfort and kind gestures.
[He's had a lot of practice, honestly. He's a light sleeper because of it and maybe that would mean he wouldn't get a lot of sleep, but Scott really doesn't think much about it. He's run on low amount of rest before and he knows how to push himself or balance things when he has to. This is definitely an okay mindset--]
But choose what's most comfortable for you, just don't worry about me.
[He doesn't intend to push Alexander either way. It really is ultimately up to him and he isn't about to infringe on that. Instead, he'll lay one hand simply against his back as he leans against his shoulder, quietly giving that small comfort without issue.]
And I think I'll pass on that one. I only really do this in certain circumstances.
[That's not healthy at all, Scott!! Spoken from one person who can run on little to no sleep!! Luckily, he doesn't know that quite yet, but he's going to get a proper scolding in the future for sure.]
... Fine. Alright. Admittedly, I do want to sleep next to you, as it would be more comfortable... But, please. Feel free to push me to the floor if you feel uncomfortable or too warm.
[With that being said, he leans into that comfortable hand for just a short moment before completely pulling away. His eyes completely swollen from crying earlier but he seems to have calmed down for the most part. If anything, he's starting to get tired, and he starts to look over at the bed.]
Well, if that is the case, then I consider myself lucky. ... And I will return the favor in kind, someday.
I'm not pushing you to the floor. I have better bedside manner than that.
[A slight joke, though he is still serious about what he said. He doesn't intend to shove the other away unless something really extreme happens. Alexander has been dealing with these feelings by himself, without anyone familial, and it's not something even Scott is going through right now. He has Alex and Raven. The fact that he can see how puffy his eyes are only cements his feelings, with Scott nodding at Alexander with a sort of dedication that he normally just exhibits on missions. Or when he's talking about mutants or caring about the X-Men. A seriousness combined with a level of care.
But almost smoothly, he raises himself up-- before offering a hand to his friend.]
[Normally, he wouldn't believe words like that spoken at face value. Often times people would be nice to get on his good side so it was hard to believe what was real or not. However, when Scott offers that hand, and shows true sincerity with his words, it's hard to deny that he truly means it.
So, with that in mind, he takes his hand as slowly stands up from the floor. A tired, but genuine smile appearing on his face as he tiredly walks toward the bed with his friend, and practically just flops there. Body still sore from how hard he had cried, and how his heart was still aching from anxiety.
Still, there is something that comes to mind.]
... Do you have a sibling?
[Scott was genuinely kind, but a lot of his mannerisms and care remind him of his siblings.]
[Luckily he's already dressed for bed that it's easy for him to flop back on the sheets as well, shifting just slightly so that he can give more space for Alexander. The celestial is far taller than him, not to mention that he's now sharing space with someone instead of being by himself, but it's an easy adjustment as he rests his head back against the pillow after a few seconds. Already, he can feel his body relax; it's true that he really isn't bothered sharing his bed for the night with his friend. It's probably from living in a mansion with a bunch of students and his friends for 10 years now.
Besides, he's never been about abandoning someone that needs help.
With his breath evening, Scott lets his eyes close for a moment, until he hears Alexander and. Oh. Ah.
There's a moment of silence from the mutant, and one might think he's just fallen asleep, but it's clear that he's thinking about his answer-- his throat swallowing as he stares up his ceiling. Not the easiest topic for him, especially when it feels like it's come out of the blue, but he carefully tries to shove those more complicated feelings underneath so he can answer.]
...An older brother.
[He died. Except, he's here now. But he doesn't want to talk about Alex being dead, especially not in front of someone that is already missing his own family. Besides, it sort of feels strange to talk about Alex being gone when he can literally call him right now and ask how he's doing. It's a strange feeling to him, but also one he doesn't want to take for granted.
He doesn't want to talk about he's gone or else he might jinx it. It feels silly to think that way but.] He's actually here in this world with me. I got lucky.
[While his siblings would be subjected to Alexander draping over them like an overly clingy cat, Scott is spared from this fate. For now. Instead, he tries his best to stay at the edge of the bed without completely falling off. Tired eyes staring down at the sheets underneath, to avoid any awkward eye contact that might happen while they're trying to settle into bed.
Truly, he thinks nothing of his question. He's so tired that it doesn't properly form in his head that Scott might not have a sibling at all, or that he might not get along with them. So, for that short moment, he does assume that Scott fell asleep.
In fact, he feels his eyes start to close just enough to linger into slumber, before they flutter open again and stares at his companion with a raised eyebrow. Quietly noting something... Off about that answer. He can't quite put his finger on it, but Scott will notice that he's scooting just a bit closer. A lame attempt to comfort him in silence, even if he doesn't know what to make of it.]
... I see.
[It feels right not to ask any further. It's been a long night, and the last thing he wants to do is to exhaust his friend.]
We can save this conversation for another time, I suppose. We should probably get some sleep... Especially if you want me to get out of your hair in the morning.
[If he notices how his friend draws closer to him... he definitely doesn't react upon it. There's just that simple, almost silent acceptance, even if a part of him wants to draw away from letting that glimpse of vulnerability prop up.
But Alexander doesn't push.]
Sleep would do us both good.
[He's thankful for the reprieve. Talking about his own feelings to another person is still a difficult thing for him, at least when it's not someone by the name of 'Jean Grey.' Keeping it in, trying to hold steady, that is far more familiar to him. Maybe he'll open up at some point, but not right now and especially since he is actually a bit tired. They both need rest.]
But you can sleep in, that's fine. I'll allow it this time.
[While he feels a bit bad that he's taken up most of Scott's night with his own mental health issues, he keeps a mental but silent note in the back of his mind to give the same grace and kindness that Scott has given him. Well aware that the leader might have a lot of baggage of his own that he may want, or need to talk about in the future.
He doesn't press it though. Even if he wants to help.]
Now you're really starting to sound like Camille. But fine, do not be surprised if I'm draping on you and you are unable to move. My husband has told me that I'm dead weight when I'm sleeping.
[Very cat like indeed, but he presses a bit closer to where their bodies are touching. The warmth of another, trusted body enough to make his mind slip into a peaceful sleep that he hasn't experienced since coming here.]
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no subject
Various scenarios run through his mind about what might have happened to Alexander, if someone attacked him, if someone suddenly disappeared-- but it's not that. It's. Grief. A longing for people that aren't here and he understands that on a level he can't describe right now. Similarly, his heart beats in a way that almost hurts, but he keeps his level level. He's here for Alexander.]
Yes, come over. Don't be alone in all this.
[He's in a loose t-shirt and sleep shorts, but it's fine. Honestly, Scott isn't thinking too much about it, his focus only on the voice on the other end.]
cw: yeah okay this is a meltdown sorry scott
This legs feel heavy though, but he does manage to obscure his face so that no one can recognize him in the hallway.
Luckily, even with swollen eyes he can navigate the dark hallways with just his sight, managing to get to Scott's room. Usually much more quiet about this, but Scott will immediately hear the doorknob forcibly move. Hands shaking as he practically lunges in and runs into the closet at lightning speed.
He hasn't closed the door at the very least, but Scott will notice that he's curled up like a child, head pressed against his knees, with his hands gripping his headwings in a vice grip. Small pinions falling underneath him.]
... Scared.
[His voice is so weak, different from his usual, calm and stoic one. The mask is gone, it crumbled as soon as he got here.
It's his true self.]
How... How am I suppose to do this? I-- I do not have them here. How can I pretend to be happy -- to act as if I can adapt? I can't--!
[Well, now he's pulling on his headwings.]
I... Am a fraud. What you have seen is a simple facade that I keep to maintain appearances but... In truth, I am the weakest out of my family. I know I am.
[It's a cry for help. He pleads with him.]
So please... Help me.
he's here!!
He's... having a panic attack? Or something among those lines. Whatever sort of term, but what he knows is Alexander is scared and dealing with grief. The loss of his family not being here with him. It's not an easy thing for anyone, no matter how strong they appear. He doesn't fault him for being like this.
He slowly reaches with his hand, as if not wanting to spook him too much, to place against one of the tight grips that's pulling on his head wings. The pull that seems almost painful and he wants to guide his friend away from that. He doesn't want to let that continue either, especially if it's going to hurt him. And all the while, he finally speaks up.]
It's difficult to be strong without your family here. [He agrees, almost softly.] You don't have to pretend to be happy and you aren't weak for missing them. I can't promise that they can be here, but know that you aren't alone either.
no subject
His hands are shaking, but feeling another touch makes him let go and instead, he reaches for Scott's hands.
They're warm and comforting, which is enough to make him lean in for that comfort. Slowly, but surely trying to catch his breath, even if it feels like his throat is closing. Still, he grounds himself -- at least, long enough to hear those comforting words. It's nostalgic, having heard those same words from his family. But hearing it said so confidently from someone that isn't family is also comforting.]
... You're right. I am sure there are others who are struggling as well and are grieving. It's just... Hard.
[Still, despite his calmness, there are visible tears from his eyes. But his mask is gone, and the person he truly is comes through.
However, it seems as if Scott's words have come through. It's... Enough to make him laugh, smile even, despite his grief.]
If what you say is true, then I suppose... You're stuck with me. Or maybe I'm stuck with you?
[The grip on Scott's hands tighten, not letting go any time soon.
Sorry Scott.]
I apologize. I... Really didn't mean to barge in like I did, but I have a particular fondness with hiding in closets, you see.
no subject
I'm certain there are others struggling in a similar way, but it can still be hard. Don't be ashamed.
[Might be ironic of him saying all these things when he has a hard time reaching out, but this isn't about him. This is about Alexander and Scott's always had an easier time telling others that it's okay to feel certain things when he doesn't practice what he preaches. Well, he used to have someone to tell all his doubts and feelings, but... that's not here and now.
Instead, he squeezes his hands, keeping them warm in his hold.]
Yeah, guess we are stuck together. For as long as you need it. [He sounds so serious saying all this... but he really means it.] So it's fine, even if you want to hide in this closet for the moment. Could you tell me why you want that particular space though?
no subject
You're right... But I guess it's still embarrassing. Admittedly I... Keep a formal speech to intimidate those around me. But I'm a normal person outside of that. I still feel anxious and stressed out, as you might feel as well.
[His hands are starting to get warm again, and they feel less clammy. Surprisingly, he still keeps a firm grip on Scott's hands, taking a deep breath out.]
For as long as I need? You may be in for a hard journey.
[Still, he can tell that Scott means it. It makes him less anxious, and his body slowly moves back to baseline.]
Mm, well...
[How does he put this... He knows that there's nothing wrong with mental illness, but he still has trouble talking about it.]
If I must admit, I do suffer from severe anxiety. It is comforting to be in a closet because it's a tight space and I don't have to feel anxious about open spaces... I suppose that may sound odd, but my sister could always find me in the closet if I hid from everyone.
[He's quiet for a moment, managing to crack a faint smile.]
Don't you have places where you hide if you feel stressed out and anxious?
no subject
So, he continues to hold onto his hands. Watches him with that steady gaze behind his sunglasses, firm but supportive still.]
For as long as you need.
[He repeats, without hesitation. It actually feels kind of good to feel steady in his emotions like this, instead of feeling out of place or thinking about his own troubles. This is something he can do. Not that he's happy that Alexander is experiencing this sort of anxiety attack, but he's glad to be here for him.]
Then we can stay in this closet. [He says, simply, the mutant starting to settle on the ground so that he can get comfortable.] And if I'm feeling that way... I just find a place that I can be alone. Maybe pull of my sunglasses for a moment or two.
[Release all that rage with the output of his powers.]
cw: self harmish??
Though, now that they're a bit more settled on the ground, he hopes that Scott's legs or knees aren't hurting.]
... I apologize though. I have to admit -- if I didn't have you as a friend... Things would have been much different. I'm not certain how life and death works here, but... It would have been the latter. And I would have been glad.
[He's thankful that Scott even answered his leaf before he went down that route. And although he isn't sure how he could repay his friend in turn, he'll think about it later. When his fight or flight system isn't haywire.]
Oh? Taking out your feelings on an unsuspecting rock or a bush?
[Why does that thought... Actually make him laugh.]
... For what it's worth, since you have been nothing but kind to me, you can reach out to me as well. I lack empathy, but... I am rather compassionate toward my friends.
no subject
It's a good thing that we are friends then.
[Though the implications of his comment... a frown pulls at the corner his mouth, slightly disapproving but mostly worried. Do those sort of thoughts linger in his mind often? It's something that he really can't let go, not after losing two important people back home. Sure, him and Alexander have really just met, but it still matters to him.]
So don't forget that.
[But as that answer fills the conversation for a few seconds... he relents just a little as Alexander lightly teases him about releasing his feelings. It's not entirely wrong.] And think just a little bigger, sometimes a tree. Sometimes I just look into the sky. But... thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
[Though it's clear that Scott is still just highly focused on him.] Does your sister do anything else for you while like this?
no subject
... Thank you. I won't.
[It's enough for now, and knowing that someone is here for him is enough to keep him steady and less on edge. For what it's worth, he's mostly calm for the most part. His breathing is back to normal, and he chuckles softly.]
I heard looking at the sky can be dangerous... Especially when you're looking at the sky and the stars here.
[Now that his brain is mostly back into place, he feels pretty embarrassed now. He wants to bury his head into his knees, but Scott is being so kind to him still that he can't really try and push him to another topic.]
... Well. She lets me sleep next to her but I know that can be a bit awkward. ... I'll be happy to just sleep on the floor, or in the closet. The bed is not big enough to fit two of us, and I would rather not inconvenience you when you have already been so kind. ... Perhaps too kind, but I wouldn't expect anything less from a charismatic leader.
[He pauses.]
... That being said, if you have any troubles that you would like to share -- anything at all... Please come and find me. I will come to you as quickly as you have come to me.
no subject
There's no denying that particular emotion or thought, with Scott actually taking a little more time to think about it, but eventually he just shakes his head. There are times when he can still be an asshole, someone inflexible and unable to back down from anything, but this is not one of those instances. He just learned about Alexander's own struggles and those more harmful tendencies, and that triumphs any awkward thoughts about sharing his bed for a night or two.]
If that's what will help quell those more negative feelings, I don't mind. [Those ruby sunglasses still solid and hiding his eyes, maybe intimidating to some, but there's something understanding underneath all that. He can't really hide that part of himself, no matter how controlled he tries to be. Besides, he's been through many of Jean's nightmares... granted she was his girlfriend, but this wouldn't be the first time he's sat through a stressful situation with someone.]
Although if you still prefer to sleep on the ground, that's fine too. ...And I'll keep that in mind, but we're focusing on you.
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Hm... As tempting as that offer is, let me ponder on it for a bit. Even though it is simple platonic intimacy, I truly do understand how uncomfortable and awkward it may be. You also need to sleep soundly too, after I interrupted it. It's terribly late into the night, so we should start heading into slumber.
[Luckily, Alexander doesn't seem to be intimidated by it. In fact, he brings both hands to Scott's clothes and quietly leans forward. His head pressed against his shoulder as an act of gratitude but also an act of comfort and vulnerability. He can only imagine how many people come to Scott for this kind of thing. If there were many, he wouldn't be surprise.]
You are far too kind.
[He pauses, letting a chuckle pass.]
But... How often are you helping people through crises like this? You could offer your services to the clinic. I'm sure other people would appreciate your comfort and kind gestures.
[Another pause.]
Joking, of course.
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[He's had a lot of practice, honestly. He's a light sleeper because of it and maybe that would mean he wouldn't get a lot of sleep, but Scott really doesn't think much about it. He's run on low amount of rest before and he knows how to push himself or balance things when he has to. This is definitely an okay mindset--]
But choose what's most comfortable for you, just don't worry about me.
[He doesn't intend to push Alexander either way. It really is ultimately up to him and he isn't about to infringe on that. Instead, he'll lay one hand simply against his back as he leans against his shoulder, quietly giving that small comfort without issue.]
And I think I'll pass on that one. I only really do this in certain circumstances.
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... Fine. Alright. Admittedly, I do want to sleep next to you, as it would be more comfortable... But, please. Feel free to push me to the floor if you feel uncomfortable or too warm.
[With that being said, he leans into that comfortable hand for just a short moment before completely pulling away. His eyes completely swollen from crying earlier but he seems to have calmed down for the most part. If anything, he's starting to get tired, and he starts to look over at the bed.]
Well, if that is the case, then I consider myself lucky. ... And I will return the favor in kind, someday.
[Once again, sounding just like his sister.]
... Should we get to bed?
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[A slight joke, though he is still serious about what he said. He doesn't intend to shove the other away unless something really extreme happens. Alexander has been dealing with these feelings by himself, without anyone familial, and it's not something even Scott is going through right now. He has Alex and Raven. The fact that he can see how puffy his eyes are only cements his feelings, with Scott nodding at Alexander with a sort of dedication that he normally just exhibits on missions. Or when he's talking about mutants or caring about the X-Men. A seriousness combined with a level of care.
But almost smoothly, he raises himself up-- before offering a hand to his friend.]
Let's get some rest.
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So, with that in mind, he takes his hand as slowly stands up from the floor. A tired, but genuine smile appearing on his face as he tiredly walks toward the bed with his friend, and practically just flops there. Body still sore from how hard he had cried, and how his heart was still aching from anxiety.
Still, there is something that comes to mind.]
... Do you have a sibling?
[Scott was genuinely kind, but a lot of his mannerisms and care remind him of his siblings.]
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Besides, he's never been about abandoning someone that needs help.
With his breath evening, Scott lets his eyes close for a moment, until he hears Alexander and. Oh. Ah.
There's a moment of silence from the mutant, and one might think he's just fallen asleep, but it's clear that he's thinking about his answer-- his throat swallowing as he stares up his ceiling. Not the easiest topic for him, especially when it feels like it's come out of the blue, but he carefully tries to shove those more complicated feelings underneath so he can answer.]
...An older brother.
[He died. Except, he's here now. But he doesn't want to talk about Alex being dead, especially not in front of someone that is already missing his own family. Besides, it sort of feels strange to talk about Alex being gone when he can literally call him right now and ask how he's doing. It's a strange feeling to him, but also one he doesn't want to take for granted.
He doesn't want to talk about he's gone or else he might jinx it. It feels silly to think that way but.] He's actually here in this world with me. I got lucky.
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Truly, he thinks nothing of his question. He's so tired that it doesn't properly form in his head that Scott might not have a sibling at all, or that he might not get along with them. So, for that short moment, he does assume that Scott fell asleep.
In fact, he feels his eyes start to close just enough to linger into slumber, before they flutter open again and stares at his companion with a raised eyebrow. Quietly noting something... Off about that answer. He can't quite put his finger on it, but Scott will notice that he's scooting just a bit closer. A lame attempt to comfort him in silence, even if he doesn't know what to make of it.]
... I see.
[It feels right not to ask any further. It's been a long night, and the last thing he wants to do is to exhaust his friend.]
We can save this conversation for another time, I suppose. We should probably get some sleep... Especially if you want me to get out of your hair in the morning.
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But Alexander doesn't push.]
Sleep would do us both good.
[He's thankful for the reprieve. Talking about his own feelings to another person is still a difficult thing for him, at least when it's not someone by the name of 'Jean Grey.' Keeping it in, trying to hold steady, that is far more familiar to him. Maybe he'll open up at some point, but not right now and especially since he is actually a bit tired. They both need rest.]
But you can sleep in, that's fine. I'll allow it this time.
[A small smile, teasing once more.]
🎀
He doesn't press it though. Even if he wants to help.]
Now you're really starting to sound like Camille. But fine, do not be surprised if I'm draping on you and you are unable to move. My husband has told me that I'm dead weight when I'm sleeping.
[Very cat like indeed, but he presses a bit closer to where their bodies are touching. The warmth of another, trusted body enough to make his mind slip into a peaceful sleep that he hasn't experienced since coming here.]