[She inhales another shuddering breath and just nods. They both know it's not forever, but there's no point saying it again. They've said it often enough that they both know it without needing to say it, and right now, she doesn't think she could bear the verbal reminder.
They'll be together as long as this place allows. She can only hope that Scott disappears first from this place; if her being gone for two days was already so hard for him, then her being gone for good might break him. But imagining the same without him hurts too much and brings fresh tears swimming into her eyes so that all she can do when Scott adds that last part is just let out a little uncertain noise.
Has she been through a lot? It feels like it. But lots of people have been through a lot, even more than she has, so why should she complain? It doesn't help anything to feel sorry for herself, she learned that a long time ago. But Scott will get mad if she tries to tell him, "it's okay," so she doesn't know what to do other than shrug helplessly, trusting him to feel the motion even if he can't see it.]
You, too, [she mumbles finally, still gently pressing her fingers near his eyes. There's so much power hidden beneath his eyelids that he has to live with, every day. That, and the glitches, and losing himself -- he's been through just as much, she thinks.] But... I meant it. What I told Morph. [And it seems like both a long time ago, and just a few days ago, when the Gnosia-infected mutant had attacked them.] People like us don't get to take breaks.
[He, of course, catches onto those light movements she makes, so attuned to every small shift with the aide of having his eyes closed. Unsurprisingly, there's a small frown to Scott even though his face is still wet with his tears, but he doesn't outwardly get mad at her. Maybe after being her boyfriend for months now or just having that maturity grow, he's able to be patient while he continues to run his fingers through her hair.
Getting overly upset or angry with people never worked out for him. He doesn't want to be upset with her anyway, especially not after something so horrific. Not after she just came back from the doors of death. Things must be hard on her. Dying, coming back...]
...Right now you can.
[Scott quietly says, tone reassuring and supportive. He moves his other hand closer to her eyes, movement slow that he doesn't accidentally extend too far or painfully bump her.]
Because I said so. [Scott smiles a little, but he's fully sincere.] I'm with you-- Kotone.
[As in, he doesn't care that she's the leader of SEES. That she saved the world through her sacrifice. Important traits, sure, but he's loved her long before learning any of those things about her.]
[In spite of it all, she manages to huff a laugh, as watery as it is, and leans her cheek into his hand. Her own eyes close in a mirror of his, and she turns her head just enough to press her lips to his thumb in a lingering kiss.]
Okay, Leader, [she mumbles, and even with his eyes closed, he'll be able to feel the way her lips curve into an only-slightly-shaky smile. If Scott says to take a break, if Scott says the infection is cured and they don't have to rush to the next crisis -- then okay. She'll believe him.] Can we just... stay here a little while longer? Together.
[She has to find her tablet, she has to message Ryoji, and Minato, and find out if Shinji is okay, and check in with everyone else and the general state of the town, but for now -- maybe just for now -- she can let her whole world narrow to just Scott.]
[Scott lightly laughs at the 'leader' comment, the sound genuine but fragile, like it wouldn't take much for him to crumble against her. It's relieving that he's still able to do that after everything, like Phoenix didn't permanently take something from him. Can he say that he's stronger than her? It's nice to think so.]
We can stay here for just a while longer. I'll keep track for us.
[He won't keep track at all, just wanting to stay in this position with her for as long as possible or for as long as she wants. Even knowing her immeasurable strength, Scott can tell she's affected and emotional too in her own subtle way. He's relied on her a lot and just in the past hour, so he hopes that she can take back some of his energy and strength in return. He brushes a thumb past the corner of her eyes, gently comforting and yet encouraging, as if silently telling her that's okay if she cries.]
...You know I'll always wait for you until you want to talk about things.
[She huffs another shaky laugh when he says he'll keep track; they both know he'll do no such thing. But it's such a normal thing to say that it makes things feel normal, like she really had just woken up from a long nap after a nightmare.
She'll be okay, in time. She'd like to say it's for both their sakes, but it's not quite true, is it? She can be vulnerable with Scott, and he can be vulnerable with her. She knows she can talk to some of her other friends about things like this, especially the other wildcards, but it's somehow become easier with Scott. Maybe it's because they're so different; he doesn't get things the way Yu or Akira or Minato does, but he works through it and tries to understand from her perspective instead of drawing on his own experiences.
She loves him so much.]
What if I never wanna talk about it? [A soft murmur against his skin, and he might feel a hint of wetness from the tears that have gathered in her eyes but have yet to truly start falling. Her lips curve into a little bit of a helpless smile and she shakes her head.] Would that be okay...?
[Scott gently but firmly responds, almost like he's reminding her of that evening on the rooftop, last year in October. Yeah, of course he remembers that day and nearly everything that happened. He started off so upset with her and he assumed a lot of things, but then he learned so much, and then they promised. From then on, they were dating and his life really became better (and sadder and harder) for the most part. He can't imagine not talking to her in the first place.
Being honest is important, right?
His thumb nearly stops in place when he feels the gathering of tears in her eye, clearly surprised, but he luckily doesn't snap his eyes open or try and grab his sunglasses to see her. He keeps in place, gently stroking along her eye with care. He knows that Kotone isn't the type to break, but he wants to be tender with her.]
I-I just don't want you to feel like you need to shoulder everything on your own. [She admitted that to him before, how she always had to be strong for SEES. How she always had to be, honestly. He'll never forget that.] I love you so much. I... I hate the thought of you feeling alone.
[Another soft noise at the reminder of their promise. She knows they'd made a promise to tell each other everything, even if they think it's stupid, but... she just doesn't want to have to think about it. She doesn't want to figure out how to put it into words so she can talk about it. It's not that she thinks it's stupid, it's just hard.]
...As long as you're here, I won't feel alone, [she mumbles quietly, keeping her eyes closed and leaning gently into his hand. As long as he's here, she can keep going, keep living and breathing and wanting to be alive.] You're the most important person here to me, so...
[And that's just it, isn't it? Her whole world, narrowed down to one person. She still loves (almost) everyone in town, she still wants to do her best for everyone, but Scott is the singular most important person right now.]
[He doesn't disbelieve her words and so something still unwinds in him, more than touched that Kotone not only genuinely feels that way but is comfortable telling him. She's gotten honest about that, hasn't she? And knowing that he's that special to her, just like she is to him, it would be impossible to remain completely unaffected by that sentiment. However, his stubborn nature remains, only amplified from his love towards her as he gently traces the sensitive skin that's now slightly wet from her tears.
Is it enough to just be here for her like this? To him, it doesn't feel enough, especially not when she's always so patient and supportive towards him. Even now, when he hurt one of her dear friends, she comforted him. If he kept all of his fears to himself, without Kotone saying anything to reassure him, he doesn't think he'd be this far along, as fragile as he feels still. The bubble of feelings just aren't as overwhelming.
...But he also remembers her not feeling things as deeply. That's always been the difference between them, hasn't it? But even with that, Scott knows that doesn't mean Kotone is unaffected. It just takes a little longer, which is why he's fine with waiting.]
I know. [Scott acknowledges, still pressing lightly against her face.] I... I just want to be here for you the same way you are for me.
[She says it so easily, so simply, as if it should be obvious. The corner of her lip twitches up into a brief smile beneath his hand, her head turning to press her nose against his palm. He's here, with her, and that's all she ever could want from him. That he wants to be there for her, not just physically, but in every other sense -- it means the world to her.
She couldn't imagine being here without him. She doesn't want to imagine being here without him.]
So just... stay here with me.
[She shifts a bit, wrapping herself more securely around him and burying her face between his shoulder and the couch again in a visible sign that she doesn't really want to say much more. She just wants to be here with him, for as long as they're allowed.]
[While it's clear that Scott isn't fully happy with her response, he relents, figuring that they'll come back to this later on. Maybe when everything is less raw, when she might feel a little more ready. Yeah, that's probably fine. As things are now, he doesn't want to spoil the mood, especially as she requests for him to just stay with her. He can do that, without question.
It seems like she really needs this. Maybe that's her own way of asking for help-- or comfort. He won't deny her that, he couldn't, really.
So, as she moves closer, he's already meeting her halfway, positioning his body against hers that's so natural at this point. He really doesn't need to have his eyes opened for that. His arms gently wrap around her, one around her waist, while the other returns to its place against the back of her hair, fingers gently running through red strands as he keeps her close. Not that Kotone needs protection, but he likes to think that he's securing her anyway. Just their moment, without any outside interference.]
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They'll be together as long as this place allows. She can only hope that Scott disappears first from this place; if her being gone for two days was already so hard for him, then her being gone for good might break him. But imagining the same without him hurts too much and brings fresh tears swimming into her eyes so that all she can do when Scott adds that last part is just let out a little uncertain noise.
Has she been through a lot? It feels like it. But lots of people have been through a lot, even more than she has, so why should she complain? It doesn't help anything to feel sorry for herself, she learned that a long time ago. But Scott will get mad if she tries to tell him, "it's okay," so she doesn't know what to do other than shrug helplessly, trusting him to feel the motion even if he can't see it.]
You, too, [she mumbles finally, still gently pressing her fingers near his eyes. There's so much power hidden beneath his eyelids that he has to live with, every day. That, and the glitches, and losing himself -- he's been through just as much, she thinks.] But... I meant it. What I told Morph. [And it seems like both a long time ago, and just a few days ago, when the Gnosia-infected mutant had attacked them.] People like us don't get to take breaks.
no subject
Getting overly upset or angry with people never worked out for him. He doesn't want to be upset with her anyway, especially not after something so horrific. Not after she just came back from the doors of death. Things must be hard on her. Dying, coming back...]
...Right now you can.
[Scott quietly says, tone reassuring and supportive. He moves his other hand closer to her eyes, movement slow that he doesn't accidentally extend too far or painfully bump her.]
Because I said so. [Scott smiles a little, but he's fully sincere.] I'm with you-- Kotone.
[As in, he doesn't care that she's the leader of SEES. That she saved the world through her sacrifice. Important traits, sure, but he's loved her long before learning any of those things about her.]
no subject
Okay, Leader, [she mumbles, and even with his eyes closed, he'll be able to feel the way her lips curve into an only-slightly-shaky smile. If Scott says to take a break, if Scott says the infection is cured and they don't have to rush to the next crisis -- then okay. She'll believe him.] Can we just... stay here a little while longer? Together.
[She has to find her tablet, she has to message Ryoji, and Minato, and find out if Shinji is okay, and check in with everyone else and the general state of the town, but for now -- maybe just for now -- she can let her whole world narrow to just Scott.]
no subject
We can stay here for just a while longer. I'll keep track for us.
[He won't keep track at all, just wanting to stay in this position with her for as long as possible or for as long as she wants. Even knowing her immeasurable strength, Scott can tell she's affected and emotional too in her own subtle way. He's relied on her a lot and just in the past hour, so he hopes that she can take back some of his energy and strength in return. He brushes a thumb past the corner of her eyes, gently comforting and yet encouraging, as if silently telling her that's okay if she cries.]
...You know I'll always wait for you until you want to talk about things.
no subject
She'll be okay, in time. She'd like to say it's for both their sakes, but it's not quite true, is it? She can be vulnerable with Scott, and he can be vulnerable with her. She knows she can talk to some of her other friends about things like this, especially the other wildcards, but it's somehow become easier with Scott. Maybe it's because they're so different; he doesn't get things the way Yu or Akira or Minato does, but he works through it and tries to understand from her perspective instead of drawing on his own experiences.
She loves him so much.]
What if I never wanna talk about it? [A soft murmur against his skin, and he might feel a hint of wetness from the tears that have gathered in her eyes but have yet to truly start falling. Her lips curve into a little bit of a helpless smile and she shakes her head.] Would that be okay...?
no subject
[Scott gently but firmly responds, almost like he's reminding her of that evening on the rooftop, last year in October. Yeah, of course he remembers that day and nearly everything that happened. He started off so upset with her and he assumed a lot of things, but then he learned so much, and then they promised. From then on, they were dating and his life really became better (and sadder and harder) for the most part. He can't imagine not talking to her in the first place.
Being honest is important, right?
His thumb nearly stops in place when he feels the gathering of tears in her eye, clearly surprised, but he luckily doesn't snap his eyes open or try and grab his sunglasses to see her. He keeps in place, gently stroking along her eye with care. He knows that Kotone isn't the type to break, but he wants to be tender with her.]
I-I just don't want you to feel like you need to shoulder everything on your own. [She admitted that to him before, how she always had to be strong for SEES. How she always had to be, honestly. He'll never forget that.] I love you so much. I... I hate the thought of you feeling alone.
no subject
...As long as you're here, I won't feel alone, [she mumbles quietly, keeping her eyes closed and leaning gently into his hand. As long as he's here, she can keep going, keep living and breathing and wanting to be alive.] You're the most important person here to me, so...
[And that's just it, isn't it? Her whole world, narrowed down to one person. She still loves (almost) everyone in town, she still wants to do her best for everyone, but Scott is the singular most important person right now.]
no subject
Is it enough to just be here for her like this? To him, it doesn't feel enough, especially not when she's always so patient and supportive towards him. Even now, when he hurt one of her dear friends, she comforted him. If he kept all of his fears to himself, without Kotone saying anything to reassure him, he doesn't think he'd be this far along, as fragile as he feels still. The bubble of feelings just aren't as overwhelming.
...But he also remembers her not feeling things as deeply. That's always been the difference between them, hasn't it? But even with that, Scott knows that doesn't mean Kotone is unaffected. It just takes a little longer, which is why he's fine with waiting.]
I know. [Scott acknowledges, still pressing lightly against her face.] I... I just want to be here for you the same way you are for me.
no subject
[She says it so easily, so simply, as if it should be obvious. The corner of her lip twitches up into a brief smile beneath his hand, her head turning to press her nose against his palm. He's here, with her, and that's all she ever could want from him. That he wants to be there for her, not just physically, but in every other sense -- it means the world to her.
She couldn't imagine being here without him. She doesn't want to imagine being here without him.]
So just... stay here with me.
[She shifts a bit, wrapping herself more securely around him and burying her face between his shoulder and the couch again in a visible sign that she doesn't really want to say much more. She just wants to be here with him, for as long as they're allowed.]
no subject
It seems like she really needs this. Maybe that's her own way of asking for help-- or comfort. He won't deny her that, he couldn't, really.
So, as she moves closer, he's already meeting her halfway, positioning his body against hers that's so natural at this point. He really doesn't need to have his eyes opened for that. His arms gently wrap around her, one around her waist, while the other returns to its place against the back of her hair, fingers gently running through red strands as he keeps her close. Not that Kotone needs protection, but he likes to think that he's securing her anyway. Just their moment, without any outside interference.]
...I'm here, always. Whenever you need me.
[They promised.]