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[It takes a long time for those cries to settle down, even remotely. Everything just feels wrong now, like things will never return back to normal (or whatever semblance of that he's managed to form for himself) and maybe that's true. It's not like he can expect everything to slide back into place after he killed someone, no matter if it was a cosmic space force in him or not. Even if-- when Ryoji comes back, it doesn't erase what he did.
More tears shed from his eyes at the thought.
He's not fully ready to discuss this more, so he shifts the topic slightly, to the person that's gently comforting him. It really is nice to be held like this, Mikey's warm embrace at least preventing Scott from losing himself entirely.]
I-Is that how it felt for you? [During the curse.] Dissociated? Barely yourself? Able to just stand there and watch your friend die...?
More tears shed from his eyes at the thought.
He's not fully ready to discuss this more, so he shifts the topic slightly, to the person that's gently comforting him. It really is nice to be held like this, Mikey's warm embrace at least preventing Scott from losing himself entirely.]
I-Is that how it felt for you? [During the curse.] Dissociated? Barely yourself? Able to just stand there and watch your friend die...?
(his chin finds scott's head, so he can burrow even further if he needs to. manjiro's own set of actions when he's crying is to hide, so he wants to give scott the same courtesy, even if it's just a little bit. with his nose, he gently touches it, as to say it's fine, it's okay. stay as long as you need.
... but then, scott asks something. he might as well hear how mikey's heart skips a beat and accelerates, because he's... nervous, even if his voice is neutral. this might not help him, he fears, but he isn't going to lie, either.)
... Mostly so. You're a good person, so that's why you feel like you were barely yourself. You'd never hurt anyone if you could help it, which is why your power is so fucking ironic, you know? Because you can, easy, but you wouldn't.
(he can't help but swallow. he's still thinking about it, that fucking curse. how easy it would have made to heal yosuke, he wouldn't have felt any fear, any hesitation, and regret.
he misses it, how it didn't hold him back. hates what it does, what it represents.
love how it didn't stop him.)
... I would. I'm a violent, destructive person by nature, Summers, and I can't give a shit about anything or anyone who isn't mine. The curse... Just took what was already there, and exploded it by a thousand. You wouldn't hurt a fly, but you can. I would, but I'm not always ready to. It took the part of me that has a heart and shut it, so I wasn't... There. It was like I was just watching my worst self move about, and sometimes, just sometimes I could peek through -- but it didn't let me feel much.
... but then, scott asks something. he might as well hear how mikey's heart skips a beat and accelerates, because he's... nervous, even if his voice is neutral. this might not help him, he fears, but he isn't going to lie, either.)
... Mostly so. You're a good person, so that's why you feel like you were barely yourself. You'd never hurt anyone if you could help it, which is why your power is so fucking ironic, you know? Because you can, easy, but you wouldn't.
(he can't help but swallow. he's still thinking about it, that fucking curse. how easy it would have made to heal yosuke, he wouldn't have felt any fear, any hesitation, and regret.
he misses it, how it didn't hold him back. hates what it does, what it represents.
love how it didn't stop him.)
... I would. I'm a violent, destructive person by nature, Summers, and I can't give a shit about anything or anyone who isn't mine. The curse... Just took what was already there, and exploded it by a thousand. You wouldn't hurt a fly, but you can. I would, but I'm not always ready to. It took the part of me that has a heart and shut it, so I wasn't... There. It was like I was just watching my worst self move about, and sometimes, just sometimes I could peek through -- but it didn't let me feel much.
Edited 2024-09-18 18:37 (UTC)
[He easily folds deeper in Mikey's strong hold, the supporting closeness finally allowing Scott's eyes to close behind his shades and dimming the red glow that subtly always exists. His shoulders continue to tremble under Mikey and while he's hiding the cracked visage of himself from others and anyone that'd so happen to come across them (which they wouldn't but), he's still bundled in like he's finally found some source of comfort in the past couple of days. It's not entirely true, not when he's had numerous friends help him, but it doesn't diminish how he feels right now.
Their dinner is all but forgotten now, the hamburger he was holding dropped somewhere on the floor, but Scott doesn't care too much right now as his fingers curl around available limb and muscle. He lets himself depend on him, cling to a strength that's taken a beating but now solidified after multiple timelines, and listens to Mikey.
There's that reaffirmation that Scott's a good person. It's true that he wouldn't hurt anyone, at least he doesn't want to, but... it doesn't feel enough. Not to mention that a small of him did want to hurt Ryoji, just for a moment and that's all Phoenix needed. She saw that emotion, brought it out, amplified it, and took over. He felt that, before he lost himself somewhere between the roaring flames and all that cosmic power. Or guess it was that other Scott.
Does it matter?
As Mikey continues to talk about himself, saying that he's just a violent and destructive person by nature, he can't help but shake his head against him. His curse almost sounds like Phoenix, at least in some ways, maybe not a complete take over, but it's the closest thing Scott's heard since all this happened. It's strange, maybe even humorous, how quickly he speaks to his defense, even though the curse and Mikey's violence towards him and Yu was what caused them to be distant for a while. It puts things into perceptive when you had to face something similar.
At least Cursed Mikey just kicked him unconscious. Choked Yu until he passed outno he doesn't know still.]
M-Maybe it was you, in some way. But that's not only you. [He's saying this for Mikey, but maybe he's saying it for himself too. Is that okay to tell himself?] It had to shut off your feelings.
Their dinner is all but forgotten now, the hamburger he was holding dropped somewhere on the floor, but Scott doesn't care too much right now as his fingers curl around available limb and muscle. He lets himself depend on him, cling to a strength that's taken a beating but now solidified after multiple timelines, and listens to Mikey.
There's that reaffirmation that Scott's a good person. It's true that he wouldn't hurt anyone, at least he doesn't want to, but... it doesn't feel enough. Not to mention that a small of him did want to hurt Ryoji, just for a moment and that's all Phoenix needed. She saw that emotion, brought it out, amplified it, and took over. He felt that, before he lost himself somewhere between the roaring flames and all that cosmic power. Or guess it was that other Scott.
Does it matter?
As Mikey continues to talk about himself, saying that he's just a violent and destructive person by nature, he can't help but shake his head against him. His curse almost sounds like Phoenix, at least in some ways, maybe not a complete take over, but it's the closest thing Scott's heard since all this happened. It's strange, maybe even humorous, how quickly he speaks to his defense, even though the curse and Mikey's violence towards him and Yu was what caused them to be distant for a while. It puts things into perceptive when you had to face something similar.
At least Cursed Mikey just kicked him unconscious. Choked Yu until he passed out
M-Maybe it was you, in some way. But that's not only you. [He's saying this for Mikey, but maybe he's saying it for himself too. Is that okay to tell himself?] It had to shut off your feelings.
(he feels the head that shakes against him, and there's a lot to say about this that he doesn't. memories of him, an elementary school kid, rushing through hospital hallways to be with his mom and tell her all about how he beat the living shit of kids who were older, tougher, bigger. how bright her smile would be, how she'd tell him how strong he was. how, as the years went by, he grew more vicious, more violent, until he used it to protect something dear. a good action doesn't erase the root of it, but the more he thinks about what to say, the more the words stick to the sides of his throat.
he doesn't want to worsen what scott might feel about himself, and for a gentle moment, all he does is carefully pet the other's head, while his eyes search for a point to focus on. he was here, but right now, he's very much in his head.
it had to shut off his feelings, he has to agree to that. it aided him in doing things he would never have the courage to do, the nerve - horrible, despicable things, and he felt... nothing. he wishes that to be true now, with the vivid memory of yosuke bleeding on the grass.
... yeah, he can't do it. he once more nudges scott with his nose, before he slowly unpeels as not to startle.)
... Excuse me.
(and manjiro doesn't explain. the door to the bathroom opens, clicks closed, and he doesn't come out.
if scott listens, he will hear chocked out, trembled cries manjiro is trying to hide.)
he doesn't want to worsen what scott might feel about himself, and for a gentle moment, all he does is carefully pet the other's head, while his eyes search for a point to focus on. he was here, but right now, he's very much in his head.
it had to shut off his feelings, he has to agree to that. it aided him in doing things he would never have the courage to do, the nerve - horrible, despicable things, and he felt... nothing. he wishes that to be true now, with the vivid memory of yosuke bleeding on the grass.
... yeah, he can't do it. he once more nudges scott with his nose, before he slowly unpeels as not to startle.)
... Excuse me.
(and manjiro doesn't explain. the door to the bathroom opens, clicks closed, and he doesn't come out.
if scott listens, he will hear chocked out, trembled cries manjiro is trying to hide.)
[For a moment, Scott thinks he said something wrong.
His throat tightens, eyes quickly reopening as that source of warmth-- Mikey pulls away from him and stands up. Was it too much? Is he disappointed? A clingy, desperate part of Scott, the one that just lost Kotone, nearly wants to snatch the other's hand so that he doesn't keep walking away. Don't leave him alone. However, he pushes the urge down, buries it beneath hurt, watching as his friend... heads to the bathroom??? He's not heading out the door.
The confusion's enough to jar Scott out of his crushed state.
He grips the jacket that's still around his shoulders just a bit tighter before standing up, gathering whatever strength he has to follow Mikey. Maybe he just needed to take a piss-- but that more comical thought leaves his mind as he hears something else instead. ...Crying? Is Mikey...
...He is.
For the life of him, he doesn't think he's ever heard him cry before. Not that he thought the biker was incapable of it, of course not, but it's still a shock to Scott's system to hear those audible noises through the door. While there's much on his mind with parts of him frayed and stretched, Scott pieces something together as he leans against the door.]
Mikey...
[His voice is still watery, but there's a return of some strength.]
His throat tightens, eyes quickly reopening as that source of warmth-- Mikey pulls away from him and stands up. Was it too much? Is he disappointed? A clingy, desperate part of Scott, the one that just lost Kotone, nearly wants to snatch the other's hand so that he doesn't keep walking away. Don't leave him alone. However, he pushes the urge down, buries it beneath hurt, watching as his friend... heads to the bathroom??? He's not heading out the door.
The confusion's enough to jar Scott out of his crushed state.
He grips the jacket that's still around his shoulders just a bit tighter before standing up, gathering whatever strength he has to follow Mikey. Maybe he just needed to take a piss-- but that more comical thought leaves his mind as he hears something else instead. ...Crying? Is Mikey...
...He is.
For the life of him, he doesn't think he's ever heard him cry before. Not that he thought the biker was incapable of it, of course not, but it's still a shock to Scott's system to hear those audible noises through the door. While there's much on his mind with parts of him frayed and stretched, Scott pieces something together as he leans against the door.]
Mikey...
[His voice is still watery, but there's a return of some strength.]
[She huffs another shaky laugh when he says he'll keep track; they both know he'll do no such thing. But it's such a normal thing to say that it makes things feel normal, like she really had just woken up from a long nap after a nightmare.
She'll be okay, in time. She'd like to say it's for both their sakes, but it's not quite true, is it? She can be vulnerable with Scott, and he can be vulnerable with her. She knows she can talk to some of her other friends about things like this, especially the other wildcards, but it's somehow become easier with Scott. Maybe it's because they're so different; he doesn't get things the way Yu or Akira or Minato does, but he works through it and tries to understand from her perspective instead of drawing on his own experiences.
She loves him so much.]
What if I never wanna talk about it? [A soft murmur against his skin, and he might feel a hint of wetness from the tears that have gathered in her eyes but have yet to truly start falling. Her lips curve into a little bit of a helpless smile and she shakes her head.] Would that be okay...?
She'll be okay, in time. She'd like to say it's for both their sakes, but it's not quite true, is it? She can be vulnerable with Scott, and he can be vulnerable with her. She knows she can talk to some of her other friends about things like this, especially the other wildcards, but it's somehow become easier with Scott. Maybe it's because they're so different; he doesn't get things the way Yu or Akira or Minato does, but he works through it and tries to understand from her perspective instead of drawing on his own experiences.
She loves him so much.]
What if I never wanna talk about it? [A soft murmur against his skin, and he might feel a hint of wetness from the tears that have gathered in her eyes but have yet to truly start falling. Her lips curve into a little bit of a helpless smile and she shakes her head.] Would that be okay...?
We promised.
[Scott gently but firmly responds, almost like he's reminding her of that evening on the rooftop, last year in October. Yeah, of course he remembers that day and nearly everything that happened. He started off so upset with her and he assumed a lot of things, but then he learned so much, and then they promised. From then on, they were dating and his life really became better (and sadder and harder) for the most part. He can't imagine not talking to her in the first place.
Being honest is important, right?
His thumb nearly stops in place when he feels the gathering of tears in her eye, clearly surprised, but he luckily doesn't snap his eyes open or try and grab his sunglasses to see her. He keeps in place, gently stroking along her eye with care. He knows that Kotone isn't the type to break, but he wants to be tender with her.]
I-I just don't want you to feel like you need to shoulder everything on your own. [She admitted that to him before, how she always had to be strong for SEES. How she always had to be, honestly. He'll never forget that.] I love you so much. I... I hate the thought of you feeling alone.
[Scott gently but firmly responds, almost like he's reminding her of that evening on the rooftop, last year in October. Yeah, of course he remembers that day and nearly everything that happened. He started off so upset with her and he assumed a lot of things, but then he learned so much, and then they promised. From then on, they were dating and his life really became better (and sadder and harder) for the most part. He can't imagine not talking to her in the first place.
Being honest is important, right?
His thumb nearly stops in place when he feels the gathering of tears in her eye, clearly surprised, but he luckily doesn't snap his eyes open or try and grab his sunglasses to see her. He keeps in place, gently stroking along her eye with care. He knows that Kotone isn't the type to break, but he wants to be tender with her.]
I-I just don't want you to feel like you need to shoulder everything on your own. [She admitted that to him before, how she always had to be strong for SEES. How she always had to be, honestly. He'll never forget that.] I love you so much. I... I hate the thought of you feeling alone.
(it's not what he wanted, to take a moment that is so delicate to scott and crumble completely under it. ghosts of his past, to be the protector has always loomed around him, and here, he had never been a leader the same way. he doesn't fight the same, isn't needed the same way - too many people can hold their own regardless of him.
and yet, he treats his people the way he always had. burdens, worries, problems, shared with manjiro, and yet, none of his own ever leave him. at home, the weight of his titles lessens their weight, even if it will always be true. here, he's relearning, and restructuring, and scott has always looked at him with a certain fondness.
love and strength move as one, it's something he learned as a birth right - logically, it's untrue, unfounded, hollow and shallow, but emotionally, it's something manjiro will always struggle to separate. by hearing his trembles from behind the door, will the way scott smiles at him diminish? will he count on him less? will he like him less? will he...--
to hear his name doesn't help the volume of his sob, almost like it triggers it. minutes pass in the discomfort of silence, before a low voice comes out of it with a sniff.)
... Sorry, Summers.
and yet, he treats his people the way he always had. burdens, worries, problems, shared with manjiro, and yet, none of his own ever leave him. at home, the weight of his titles lessens their weight, even if it will always be true. here, he's relearning, and restructuring, and scott has always looked at him with a certain fondness.
love and strength move as one, it's something he learned as a birth right - logically, it's untrue, unfounded, hollow and shallow, but emotionally, it's something manjiro will always struggle to separate. by hearing his trembles from behind the door, will the way scott smiles at him diminish? will he count on him less? will he like him less? will he...--
to hear his name doesn't help the volume of his sob, almost like it triggers it. minutes pass in the discomfort of silence, before a low voice comes out of it with a sniff.)
... Sorry, Summers.
[Another soft noise at the reminder of their promise. She knows they'd made a promise to tell each other everything, even if they think it's stupid, but... she just doesn't want to have to think about it. She doesn't want to figure out how to put it into words so she can talk about it. It's not that she thinks it's stupid, it's just hard.]
...As long as you're here, I won't feel alone, [she mumbles quietly, keeping her eyes closed and leaning gently into his hand. As long as he's here, she can keep going, keep living and breathing and wanting to be alive.] You're the most important person here to me, so...
[And that's just it, isn't it? Her whole world, narrowed down to one person. She still loves (almost) everyone in town, she still wants to do her best for everyone, but Scott is the singular most important person right now.]
...As long as you're here, I won't feel alone, [she mumbles quietly, keeping her eyes closed and leaning gently into his hand. As long as he's here, she can keep going, keep living and breathing and wanting to be alive.] You're the most important person here to me, so...
[And that's just it, isn't it? Her whole world, narrowed down to one person. She still loves (almost) everyone in town, she still wants to do her best for everyone, but Scott is the singular most important person right now.]
[Those minutes of silence feel like they drag on forever.
He's afraid, worried, concerned about his friend-- someone that's supported Scott on more than one occasion and it's actually sort of calming in a strange way. Hasn't it always been easier for him when he focuses on someone else rather than his own issues? Yeah. Sort of. It's just never been this extreme before. It still doesn't stop Scott from taking in deep breaths as he keeps himself close to the door, centering himself as he strains to hear Mikey through it. Even if Mikey was initially here to support him, Scott's more than willing to reverse their roles.
He... he wants to help him. It's important.]
Mikey... let me in.
[He can probably open the door, but he wants to give Mikey some time to gather himself. Maybe even wait for him to tell him it's okay to come in. However, he doesn't want Mikey to face this alone.]
He's afraid, worried, concerned about his friend-- someone that's supported Scott on more than one occasion and it's actually sort of calming in a strange way. Hasn't it always been easier for him when he focuses on someone else rather than his own issues? Yeah. Sort of. It's just never been this extreme before. It still doesn't stop Scott from taking in deep breaths as he keeps himself close to the door, centering himself as he strains to hear Mikey through it. Even if Mikey was initially here to support him, Scott's more than willing to reverse their roles.
He... he wants to help him. It's important.]
Mikey... let me in.
[He can probably open the door, but he wants to give Mikey some time to gather himself. Maybe even wait for him to tell him it's okay to come in. However, he doesn't want Mikey to face this alone.]
[He doesn't disbelieve her words and so something still unwinds in him, more than touched that Kotone not only genuinely feels that way but is comfortable telling him. She's gotten honest about that, hasn't she? And knowing that he's that special to her, just like she is to him, it would be impossible to remain completely unaffected by that sentiment. However, his stubborn nature remains, only amplified from his love towards her as he gently traces the sensitive skin that's now slightly wet from her tears.
Is it enough to just be here for her like this? To him, it doesn't feel enough, especially not when she's always so patient and supportive towards him. Even now, when he hurt one of her dear friends, she comforted him. If he kept all of his fears to himself, without Kotone saying anything to reassure him, he doesn't think he'd be this far along, as fragile as he feels still. The bubble of feelings just aren't as overwhelming.
...But he also remembers her not feeling things as deeply. That's always been the difference between them, hasn't it? But even with that, Scott knows that doesn't mean Kotone is unaffected. It just takes a little longer, which is why he's fine with waiting.]
I know. [Scott acknowledges, still pressing lightly against her face.] I... I just want to be here for you the same way you are for me.
Is it enough to just be here for her like this? To him, it doesn't feel enough, especially not when she's always so patient and supportive towards him. Even now, when he hurt one of her dear friends, she comforted him. If he kept all of his fears to himself, without Kotone saying anything to reassure him, he doesn't think he'd be this far along, as fragile as he feels still. The bubble of feelings just aren't as overwhelming.
...But he also remembers her not feeling things as deeply. That's always been the difference between them, hasn't it? But even with that, Scott knows that doesn't mean Kotone is unaffected. It just takes a little longer, which is why he's fine with waiting.]
I know. [Scott acknowledges, still pressing lightly against her face.] I... I just want to be here for you the same way you are for me.
No.
(not in a million years. if being heard is humiliating, being seen would break him. tears of joy leave him on occasion, but this pure display of him and his heart broken is not something he would ever be okay to be witnessed.
it's... stupid, he knows. he knows this is what caused his downfall, this difficulty in opening, in reaching for help when he most need it, but it's impossible to change completely - not when it's such a core characteristic of him.
manjiro does know, however, he needs to at least try a little bit. just a little bit.)
... I miss the stupid curse. I wouldn't feel shitty for the things this place makes us do all the time if I had it.
(not in a million years. if being heard is humiliating, being seen would break him. tears of joy leave him on occasion, but this pure display of him and his heart broken is not something he would ever be okay to be witnessed.
it's... stupid, he knows. he knows this is what caused his downfall, this difficulty in opening, in reaching for help when he most need it, but it's impossible to change completely - not when it's such a core characteristic of him.
manjiro does know, however, he needs to at least try a little bit. just a little bit.)
... I miss the stupid curse. I wouldn't feel shitty for the things this place makes us do all the time if I had it.
[The solid rejection stills some of Scott's determination. Thoughts about forcing the door open slip away because if Mikey really doesn't want him to be in there, he's not about to force it. He can picture that going south real fast. However, Mikey's not telling him to go away completely, so he keeps himself planted against the door, hoping that he can reach him despite the wall separating them. It's something, even if he'd much prefer to actually see his friend.
He'll just have to listen to his words and that singular admission draws a pained breath from Scott. So, that's what he wants, huh? He... misses the curse, or more specifically, he wants to stop feeling pain when he hurts someone. He... he doesn't fully understand, except for when he dissociated as Phoenix, feeling so unlike himself and unable to connect to his body or emotions. He hated that. It was scary, although... maybe it would make all this pain right now easier.
Scott swallows at the thought, shaking himself out of it.]
...What happened, Mikey? Tell me. [He doesn't want to sound pleading, so there's a prying note in his voice despite the more quiet inflection that's still covering his words.]
He'll just have to listen to his words and that singular admission draws a pained breath from Scott. So, that's what he wants, huh? He... misses the curse, or more specifically, he wants to stop feeling pain when he hurts someone. He... he doesn't fully understand, except for when he dissociated as Phoenix, feeling so unlike himself and unable to connect to his body or emotions. He hated that. It was scary, although... maybe it would make all this pain right now easier.
Scott swallows at the thought, shaking himself out of it.]
...What happened, Mikey? Tell me. [He doesn't want to sound pleading, so there's a prying note in his voice despite the more quiet inflection that's still covering his words.]
You are.
[She says it so easily, so simply, as if it should be obvious. The corner of her lip twitches up into a brief smile beneath his hand, her head turning to press her nose against his palm. He's here, with her, and that's all she ever could want from him. That he wants to be there for her, not just physically, but in every other sense -- it means the world to her.
She couldn't imagine being here without him. She doesn't want to imagine being here without him.]
So just... stay here with me.
[She shifts a bit, wrapping herself more securely around him and burying her face between his shoulder and the couch again in a visible sign that she doesn't really want to say much more. She just wants to be here with him, for as long as they're allowed.]
[She says it so easily, so simply, as if it should be obvious. The corner of her lip twitches up into a brief smile beneath his hand, her head turning to press her nose against his palm. He's here, with her, and that's all she ever could want from him. That he wants to be there for her, not just physically, but in every other sense -- it means the world to her.
She couldn't imagine being here without him. She doesn't want to imagine being here without him.]
So just... stay here with me.
[She shifts a bit, wrapping herself more securely around him and burying her face between his shoulder and the couch again in a visible sign that she doesn't really want to say much more. She just wants to be here with him, for as long as they're allowed.]
What hasn't happened, Summers? Think.
(he bites, even if he doesn't mean to. it's the fact that scott has been on the receiving side of his kick that kills him, the fact that killing yu has killed him, leaving had killed him, and he was fine. miserable, but fine. the gift of numbness has downsides, but none of it ever is to feel bad about one's actions.
but, scott doesn't deserve this. he thinks, for a second, how shitty it must be to be on the other side of that door.
a sniff ensues, because he's trying to breathe, as difficult as it is.)
... Yosuke was infected. I was a Doctor, but... I had to beat the living shit out of him to heal him. If I have to regress, the least this place could grant me is not to feel guilty or scared I'll lose everything again over it.
(he bites, even if he doesn't mean to. it's the fact that scott has been on the receiving side of his kick that kills him, the fact that killing yu has killed him, leaving had killed him, and he was fine. miserable, but fine. the gift of numbness has downsides, but none of it ever is to feel bad about one's actions.
but, scott doesn't deserve this. he thinks, for a second, how shitty it must be to be on the other side of that door.
a sniff ensues, because he's trying to breathe, as difficult as it is.)
... Yosuke was infected. I was a Doctor, but... I had to beat the living shit out of him to heal him. If I have to regress, the least this place could grant me is not to feel guilty or scared I'll lose everything again over it.
[While it's clear that Scott isn't fully happy with her response, he relents, figuring that they'll come back to this later on. Maybe when everything is less raw, when she might feel a little more ready. Yeah, that's probably fine. As things are now, he doesn't want to spoil the mood, especially as she requests for him to just stay with her. He can do that, without question.
It seems like she really needs this. Maybe that's her own way of asking for help-- or comfort. He won't deny her that, he couldn't, really.
So, as she moves closer, he's already meeting her halfway, positioning his body against hers that's so natural at this point. He really doesn't need to have his eyes opened for that. His arms gently wrap around her, one around her waist, while the other returns to its place against the back of her hair, fingers gently running through red strands as he keeps her close. Not that Kotone needs protection, but he likes to think that he's securing her anyway. Just their moment, without any outside interference.]
...I'm here, always. Whenever you need me.
[They promised.]
It seems like she really needs this. Maybe that's her own way of asking for help-- or comfort. He won't deny her that, he couldn't, really.
So, as she moves closer, he's already meeting her halfway, positioning his body against hers that's so natural at this point. He really doesn't need to have his eyes opened for that. His arms gently wrap around her, one around her waist, while the other returns to its place against the back of her hair, fingers gently running through red strands as he keeps her close. Not that Kotone needs protection, but he likes to think that he's securing her anyway. Just their moment, without any outside interference.]
...I'm here, always. Whenever you need me.
[They promised.]
[Those words sting, the weight of them heavier with everything that's happened. Normally he would be a little more resistant, not as wounded by Mikey's retort, but Scott's been feeling like a failure in many ways lately. He's tempted to leave Mikey alone, but whatever scraps of his pride and stubbornness still remain, just enough for him to keep himself pressed against the door. He'll just... shove the hurt down. It's fine. He's not going to get upset at his friend.
When has that ever helped?
Besides, Mikey is deep in his own grief. He knows that. He had to hide in the bathroom and keep his tears hidden from world around him. Keeping that in mind centers Scott in some ways and it definitely helps as Mikey begins speaking once more. He's... still opening up.]
..... [So, that's what happened. This place giving Mikey a shitty way to heal people and he had to beat up Yosuke to cure him. It's messed up, especially after his friend has finally found a good spot for himself, back home and here. Scott knows Mikey, how much he would not want to do something like that. It's hard to hear.
His reaction, the reason why he's crying in the bathroom, makes complete sense. However, he doesn't see Mikey as weak for it.] It's not your fault-- I.
[...] It's crappy, but... it's better to feel guilty and scared than feeling nothing.
[That's how he felt when he was Phoenix, when he was killing Ryoji. He didn't care about the pain he was causing.]
When has that ever helped?
Besides, Mikey is deep in his own grief. He knows that. He had to hide in the bathroom and keep his tears hidden from world around him. Keeping that in mind centers Scott in some ways and it definitely helps as Mikey begins speaking once more. He's... still opening up.]
..... [So, that's what happened. This place giving Mikey a shitty way to heal people and he had to beat up Yosuke to cure him. It's messed up, especially after his friend has finally found a good spot for himself, back home and here. Scott knows Mikey, how much he would not want to do something like that. It's hard to hear.
His reaction, the reason why he's crying in the bathroom, makes complete sense. However, he doesn't see Mikey as weak for it.] It's not your fault-- I.
[...] It's crappy, but... it's better to feel guilty and scared than feeling nothing.
[That's how he felt when he was Phoenix, when he was killing Ryoji. He didn't care about the pain he was causing.]
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